I’m awake, refreshed and coherent-BEFORE my alarm goes off. I quietly sneak downstairs, a plan has already formulated in my thoughts for Bible Study-which isn’t for another 3 hours. This blog is sitting on my shoulder and demanding to be written.
I can’t recall a time when I didn’t as much get out of bed but fall out of it, dragging myself to the nearest coffee pot. Planning through the morass of thoughts/insecurities/fears/pain was more like trying to run through a wall of cobwebs-sticky and binding. Writing was an abstract, a luxury, a passion I had to steal from my other ‘worthier’ causes to spend time creating.
Why the drastic 180 degree change? Did I suddenly find the will power my mother and others have always said was the only reason I was fat and unsuccessful? Did I suddenly discover a pill to take away all the stresses, strains, pains and peeves which kept me under their thumbs?
Nope. I simply started to eat real food.
Seriously, I’m a clean eater.
This blog is based on the premise of “Eat Less. Pray More. Love Abundantly.” A topic I rarely explore is eating. The reason? It’s hard to write about addressing your drug of choice and secret shame. It’s an invitation for judgement when you say you are eating well and then reach for a cookie at an event. It’s hard, disciplined work with moments of failure on display for all to see in your too-slowly changing sizes.
I wish I could say I had an epiphany towards health and eating. I would love to have one of those inspirational stories where I suddenly realized I was worth it (cue instrumental music and images of people running through ocean surf). I didn’t have one of those. Instead it was more mini-moments of clarity which strung themselves together into one of those rope bridges across a cavern. I simply chose to walk across the bridge and deal with the height, the wind blowing the ropes, and the churning waters beneath me.
I didn’t tell anybody except those I knew who were solidly in my corner. I just shopped differently one week. I cooked differently. I ate differently.
10 pounds later (coincidentally the weight of spinach I’ve eaten AND the amount of weight the scale has gone down) I sit, in the early morning writing this blog.
When I hit publish, I’ll go and make special Sunday breakfast. I’ll roll up quinoa and sausage in a lower fat, higher nutrition version of breakfast. I’ll roll up my sleeves and package up a week’s worth of breakfast/lunches and dinners all made with mostly clean, whole ingredients. I’ll bake with the apple sauce I made yesterday in my crock pot (I felt like a modern day Pioneer Woman).
Another thing I’ll do? I’ll write.
Today, what will you do? What’s one minor or momentous thing you can do to take step towards health and wholeness? Share with me. Together we can take this journey to eat less. Maybe share a recipe or two.
In the aftermath of the tragedy in Connecticut, I find myself asking God a critical question. It isn’t “Why?” or “Whose fault?” or “What’s to Blame?” Rather it is, “How do I pray?”
How do I pray when it seems that God was absent in His promised protection over the little ones?
How do I pray when it seems the killer was a young man with deep problems?
How do I pray when I simply cannot become comfortable with the reality of evil preying upon children?
I want to know how I can pray differently for my kids. Time with them is more precious than gold. How can I waste not an ounce?
I want to know how I can pray for all the families affected. From first responders to those left with no responses I want to know how to pray.
I want to know how to dislodge the band of panic which is wrapped around my heart. At the slightest sound, call or moment away, I wonder if I will see them again.
Lysa TerKeurst wrote a blog asking the same question I did. Her response was heart-achingly beautiful. Read it here: How Do I Pray
I’ll pray for the chasms to be filled.
How will you pray?
Less-More-Abundantly is a year long journey I am taking. Inspired by two books, Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, I will endeavor to do three things: 1. Eat less, 2. Pray more, 3. Love abundantly.
Gilbert, in “Eat, Pray, Love” shares her journey across the world to find herself. She eats, prays and loves her way to wholeness of identity. I am going to do the same, though I probably will never leave the comfort of my own livingroom.
Voskamp, in “A Thousand Gifts” is a dare to live fully right where you are. I take up the challenge.
Less More Abundantly will explore my journey and invite you to take it with me. Or at least stand on the sidelines, cheer and pass me a cup of water as I pass by.
In “Eat, Pray, Love” Gilbert writes, “I am alone, I am all alone, I am completely alone. Grasping this reality, I let go of my bag, drop to my knees and press my forehead against the floor. There, I offer up to the universe a fervent prayer of thanks. First in English. Then in Italian. And then—just to get the point across—in Sanskrit. And since I am already down there in supplication on the floor, let me hold that position as I reach back in time… to the moment when this entire story began—a moment which also found me in this exact same posture: on my knees, on a floor, praying.”
My moment begins now. I too, offer up a prayer of thankfulness for beginnings full of promise. I take up the dare to live fully in this moment, whether alone or in a crowd.
Thank you for taking the journey with me.