For years, I have asked my husband why he loves me. His answer has always been, “I don’t have a particular reason. I just do.” And for years my feelings would be hurt. I wanted a reason.
I wanted more than a reason. I wanted the words, the flowery testimony of how wonderful, beautiful, transcendent and ethereal we are together. My love language is words of affirmation. I crave the words.
Last night I figured out a powerful truth which fits with the part of this project in loving abundantly. HE DOESN’T NEED A REASON. He simply chooses to love me.
Reasons such as size or age, the money I make or spend, what I do for him in or out of the bedroom. All these are reasons which, over time or through neglect, can change everything.
He doesn’t need a reason because a long time ago, in the face of a tearful, overly-dramatic English and theatre major, he made a decision. He chose to love me. And he hasn’t stopped choosing every day of our lives.
Do we always like each other? Nope. Plenty of reasons to fight, feud and stew. Do we always act like we love each other? Nope, I’m pretty sure my affection for sarcasm, sweatpants and his addiction to sports and sasquatch shows prevents many lovey-dovey moments.
Through depression, debt and disappointment he still chooses. And for no particular reason, I do too.
Who do you love abundantly and for no particular reason, just because you choose to?
In a previous post I shared loving abundantly means asking the hard questions. I related it to friendship.
As is often the case, as soon as a revelation hits, an opportunity to put it into practice comes around.
It was 1 a.m.. Weary and near blind from staring at Olympics all night we finally settled in for sleep. The fan humming and the dog snoring, I should have drifted away immediately. Instead I was itchy on the inside. I needed-something. Taking a deep breath I popped out of bed and went for it. I asked him the hard questions.
Without rancor, without angst, I laid it all on the table. After sniffling and snorting my way to a conclusion, I waited. He is the epitome of still waters running deep-I knew he is worth the wait.
He then laid it on the table. All of it.
Most was hard to hear as I can really do nothing about it. However, things needed to be said and not only heard, but acknowledged.
We are arriving at the answers because we both were able to ask the hard questions. This time we will cross the finish line together.