I’ve been ‘between opportunities’ (euphemism for still looking for the job) for more than seven months. Some days are harder than others. Some days, to be honest, are worse than when I was caring for my sick Dad. Other days, however, are more.
With less employment taking up my time, I have more to spend with those I love. I have inside jokes with my 14 year old. He, sometimes, actually smiles at me.
My 10 year old asks to watch movies with me. This means curling both of our bodies in the corner of the couch under a blanket to munch homemade popcorn with butter.
My puppies spend much of the day at my feet or on my lap. When I’m too busy to be still, they actually follow me around.
I’ve also reconnected with friends from college. We have children who are taller than us. There was a moment of terror when we realized we were outnumbered by progeny.
There is less money and even less certainty. Yet, in the midst of less there is more.
I’m more in the moment as tomorrow is full of unknowns, I’m getting better at simply being present. Being with my kids. Being with a good book. Being okay when nothing is okay.
I can’t say I have more faith, as faith is too grand a notion to be measured like peanut butter. Instead I have a more authentic faith.“Now faith is the assurance (title deed, confirmation) of things hoped for (divinely guaranteed), and the evidence of things not seen [the conviction of their reality—faith comprehends as fact what cannot be experienced by the physical senses].” (Heb. 11:1 AMP).
Daily I fight to have a real assurance the unseen things are coming to pass in my life. An inner settling that an unseen God is working in and through me.
I, literally, can do nothing else. I have applied, networked and reached out for employment. I’ve budgeted and cut all the fun. In short, I can’t fill the space that is empty-only God can.
Less of me and more of Him. Less worry and more faith. Less stress and more laughter. Less is becoming more.