It’s Over. Now START.

I have in my possession the scariest book I have ever beheld.  I left it in the smiley amazon box for three days on the washer; because to open it was to acknowledge a reality in my life.

I had an epiphany, a revelation, a ‘what-the-what?’, a moment of inspiration, a whisper from the heart of God, the results of more than 4 hours sleep in a row-an idea.

I keep failing at my goals because I keep starting over. 

I’m finished before I start.

By continually starting over, I am reviewing steps I took to eat less, pray more and love abundantly. I am doing over what has already been done.  I am eating a meal already chewed…eww…too far…

By always starting over I completely discount that I have lived and learned.  I have been scarred and scorned.  I have been harmed and healed.  My feet are calloused from walking around these mountains.  My forehead is bruised from bumping into the walls of the canyons.

I can’t start over any more than I can go again into my Mother’s womb and be born.

What I can do is start; right where I am.  Scars and all.  I can start.  To be honest, I am terrified.

The book which started it all (pun intended)?

Punch fear in the face.  Escape average.  Do work that matters.  Average-Awesome

Punch fear in the face. Escape average. Do work that matters. Average-Awesome

What drew me, besides divine intervention to get on with it already, was the author’s profligate use of the word ‘awesome’.  I love awesome.  I love awesomesauce.  I use awesome unashamedly.

I want to move from average to awesome.  I can’t unless I start.

There is no magic formula.  No pill or meditation to repeat.  I simply must start.

How will I start?  By doing something.  For tonight, it meant writing this blog.  Tomorrow?  Who knows what I will start.  One thing I know is it will be something.

It’s over, this lie of trying to go back and fix and fiddle and make up for and fill the crevices and do it ‘right this time’.

It’s over.  Now I can start.

What will you do to start?  What’s the one thing which terrifies you the most, but you feel your spirit whispering you need to do?

Want to have a reading group around the book, “Start” by Jon Acuff?  Let me know.  Accountability is something I am starting too and would love to share this part of the journey with you.

 

3 comments

  1. Katie Cross

    I’ve never heard of this book before, but it sounds ‘awesome’ 🙂 Any title that has ‘Punch fear in the face’ is bound to be amazing, right? I love your beautiful sight, KimRo! I can’t wait to read more!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s